First of all, I’m so sorry for whatever has brought you to this blog today. Whether it is your heartache, or the broken heart of a daughter, sister, or friend, I am sorry for your pain.
I am the spouse of a sex addict. Several years ago, he disclosed to me that he had been acting out on a pornography addiction for the previous year of our marriage. We each got into recovery and with lots of prayer and faith, we stayed together and our marriage was stronger for our efforts. More recently, my spouse revealed that he no longer wanted to be married to me, and that he has been secretly acting out in his addiction again.
I did not choose for this to happen to me, yet I am faced with choices I never dreamed I’d have to make because of these new circumstances. It has been clear to me that the safest path forward for me and for my spouse has been complete separation. As a faithful LDS woman (member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), the thought of ending my marriage is fraught with complex emotions. I believe in personal revelation and have felt clearly guided by a loving God thus far.
My hope in sharing my story and experiences is for other women to find comfort in their lives, however similar or different our circumstances are. My previous experience in recovery with a sex-addicted spouse was centered on staying in the relationship. I found a lot of blogs, literature, and support with that in mind. In my new situation, there is a severe lack of resources for faithful women who choose to or who are considering leaving their spouses. I hope this blog fills a small part of that hole.